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Tag Archives: positive psychology

Being grateful :)

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The other day I was talking to an old man who was suicidal. He attempted suicide twice in the past. He asked me what kind of drug would help him succeed this time? I was alarmed. He is an 80-year-old rich man who was well retired with no family problems what-so-ever. How do I know? I live next door to them. I have known this family for a while. I asked him – “It is recently scorning 45 degrees hot in Hyderabad. I saw people begging in this God damn heat on the street with no foot wear or home to live. I felt so bad for them. Now tell me grandpa? You are in good health, have a family who loves you and takes care of you, have a roof on your head, have food to eat, have no personal problems. what more you need?” He kept quiet. May be he is lonely, may be had some issues that he cannot share, may be he is depressed. I asked the family to take him for a consult just in case.

As a HSP I am very prone to melancholy so I try to keep myself optimistic while in hindrance. I think as humans we often take things for granted. We never appreciate what we have and always seek for something more. It is nothing wrong to be selfish enough to seek more. It’s just while we do that we need to keep an eye on the present. Appreciate the little things that make us happy on a daily basis. As a single woman, I enjoy my FREEDOM more than anything in the world. I have been living on my own for more than a year which is great being independent. Mostly I love my job. As a doctor, I get to help people which makes me happy. I think GIVING is the most benevolent thing my grandpa has taught me. On the contrary my life is really boring right now. I still need to get married, get settled by doing post graduation, be successful and start a family. I get stressed out whenever people poke and prod me with questions regarding my love and career. But you know what? It will happen when the time is right. There is no way you can force destiny which is why many people end up unhappy with careers or marriages they don’t like or get divorced. I am sure there are other people who are in the same boat as I am. So lets take a moment and be thankful for what we have in our lives. I made a list of mine:

1. GOOD HEALTH : As a doctor, I often see cases that have life long restrictions. Fluid restriction in heart or kidney failure, carb restriction in diabetes, primary or secondary disabilities. I mean can you imagine being in their shoes? I am truly grateful for my health and my senses.

2. FAMILY: I have a very supportive family who stand by my thick and thin.

3. FRIENDS : In this appalling world, its good to find good people who give you their best.

4. FAITH : I am agnostic and I love God. Faith is what keeps me alive & optimistic.

5. LOVE : Whether its self-love or love from your family & friends, it is wonderful.

6. FREEDOM : Freedom of speech, freedom of living alone, freedom of doing whatever the heck you want. Being in a relationship is a change everyone must face, it is definitely a good thing. But can you imagine being single and sexy? You can do anything you want in the world so savor it! Enjoy it while it lasts.

7. NATURE : I think the creator made this beautiful world filled with greeneries, flowers and mountains, sunrises and sunsets, the smell of lavender, the healing power of peppermint. Nature therapy is a blessing.

8. CAREER : Cheers to all of us who love their jobs.

9. KIND STRANGERS : This surprises me often. There are so many people who do good selflessly that we meet on a daily basis. They inspire and humble me.

10. SILENCE & PEACE : This is a must for me as an ambivert. I get to re-energize because of silence. I get to reevaluate my life, I study well in this environment, I pray and meditate. Silence stimulates creativity.

There are other things in the list like facing challenges, I am in a catch 22 situation right now but imagine if I don’t face it how can I appreciate my success? My journeys, my experiences, mistakes, ancestors, science, medicine, home, food, entertainment, music & dance, laughter, talents, pets, technology, culture & diversity. Every beautiful thing in this world that makes me happy, I am eternally thankful. Please do not forget to count your blessings even if they are little. 🙂

 
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Posted by on June 3, 2015 in Philosophy

 

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Embracing pain

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“STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES BUT WORDS WILL NEVER HURT ME.” Or will they?

Same areas of the brain get activated when we experience social rejection, the betrayal of a loved one or when we spill hot coffee on our arm. In other words, emotional pain hurts the same as physical pain. Science has developed drugs to alleviate or eliminate our physical pain and some of those same drugs are now proving helpful in eliminating our emotional pain. So the prescription for broken heart might actually be – take 2 Tylenol and call me in the morning? But is numbing our pain always a good thing? The more we know pain in all its varying flavours, the more we can appreciate the sensations and feelings that we like, it’s the nature of contrast. If we never felt bitterness or anger, then we wouldn’t deeply appreciate our happiness. And if we never knew fear, then we couldn’t admire courage. So may be to fully enjoy the beauty in our lives, we must first acknowledge and embrace our pain.

The above lines are from the recent episode of Perception (302 painless). I couldn’t agree more.

When people feel emotional pain, the same areas of the brain get activated as when people feel physical pain: the anterior insula and the anterior cingulate cortex. Studies have shown, acetaminophen taken during acute phases of broken heart or rejection, has lowered the activation in the anterior insula and the anterior cingulate cortex, thus alleviating our emotional pain.

Obviously popping pills isn’t a long term cure for every time we get hurt. Ever observed when a child falls while playing, they cry. But when they fall several times, the pain mitigates; they learn to get up and deal with it. Same goes with any ghastly setbacks that happen in our everyday life. Everybody experiences emotional pain differently depending on disparate situations but we all have a choice to let it go. So why not do it with some awareness and self compassion. Embracing or accepting our pain with mindful awareness, makes us stronger individuals as we become to endure it. When the same experience happens again, its not so painful anymore. We are hardwired to be resilient. We suffer, we accustom. The span of our resilience shortens with every negative experience. Nothing lasts forever.

Remember to wade through the pain, do not dwell in it. 🙂

 
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Posted by on July 1, 2014 in Psychology

 

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